As mentioned in my previous post – I’ve been reading (and getting inspired by) Keith Ferrazzi’s book “Never Eat Alone”. Some of the presentation is definitely aimed at the US market (who are much more “forward” than us shy/retiring Brits) – but the principles dealt with in the book are excellent.

There are several areas that Keith deals with that are key elements of building a strong, supportive Personal Network. He explains these well – and puts forward some illustrative personal stories and anecdotes that bring these principles in focus.

There is a thread through the book – and is supported by many other blogs, articles and books that I have been reading – that generosity is an absolutely crucial element of building a Personal Network. Following the Farming analogy from the previous post about Dr. Ivan Misner – you reap what you sow!

Early in Keith’s book “Never Eat Alone” there is a chapter called Don’t Keep Score. I particularly like this extract (reproduced with permission) to illustrate the point:-

“A network functions precisely because there’s recognition of mutual need. There’s an implicit understanding that investing time and energy in building personal relationships with the right people will pay dividends. The majority of “one percenters”, as I call the ultra-rich and successful whom many of my mentees aspire toward, are one percenters because they understand this dynamic – because, in fact, they themselves used the power of their network of contacts and friends to arrive at their present station.

But to do so, first you have to stop keeping score. You can’t amass a network of connections without introducing such connections to others with equal fervor. The more people you help, the more help you’ll have and the more help you’ve have helping others. It’s like the Internet. The more people who have access, and use it, the more valuable the Internet becomes. I now have a small army of former mentees, succeeding in any number of industries, helping me to mentor the young people that come to me today.

This is not softhearted hokum; it’s an insight that hard-headed business people would do well to take seriously. We live in an interdependent world. Flattened organizations seek out strategic alliances at every turn. A growing pool of free agents are finding the need to work with others to accomplish their goals. More than ever before, zero-sum scenarios where only one party wins often mean, in the long run, that both parties will lose. Win/win has become a necessary reality in a networked world. In a hyper-connected marketplace, cooperation is gaining ground on competition.

The game has changed.”

It’s an excellent (and fundamental point) for Personal Network growth – well expressed by Keith. It sets me a serious challenge as I try to find a way to visualise (and value) Personal Networks … because the inclination is always to keep score! How do you measure the strength of the Personal Network without getting in to the frustratingly anal world of CRM solutions which track every dot and comma of commercial relationships!

I am sure this topic will come up again and again – if your Personal Network grows through your genuine generosity – how can you really know your network without giving some value to your individual “giving”?

I am halfway through Keith’s second book “Who’s Got Your Back” – good read so far … maybe there will be further inspiration on this topic in there. If I like the book, I might even become a student at Keith’s Relationship Masters Academy: http://www.relationshipmastersacademy.com/

When setting out on this Personal Network journey – I was surprised to find that there was very little about networking stacked on the bountiful business bookshelves of the US or UK. The two publications I did find were “Networking like a Pro” by Dr. Ivan Misner and “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi.

Being a Brit (and these titles being off the US bookshelf) it was immediately apparent the very different cultures of our two English speaking nations. The principles stay the same – but us Brits are so much more uptight/shy! Maybe that’s why I like Americans and being in the US so much?

There are some real gems in both books – and today I want to deal with a crucial topic in Dr.Ivan Misner’s book – a personal network grows for the long-term with a farming approach! The wham-bam style of the hunter is not going to work if you seriously want to develop a valuable personal network.

Here’s the key section of “Networking like a Pro” (quoted with permission) that resounded so strongly with me:-

“If we could impart one piece of wisdom regarding networking and getting more referrals, it would be this; networking is about farming for new contacts, not hunting them down. It’s a point that needs to be made, because most business professionals go about networking the way our cave-dwelling ancestors did when hunting for food – aggressively and carrying a big stick.

You will see them at any gathering of businesspeople. They’re so busy looking for the next big sale or trying to meet the “right” prospect that they approach networking simply as an exercise in sifting through crowds of people until they bag the ideal client, the big customer who can turn their business around. They don’t have time for regular people like us; they’re stalking the director of marketing, chief operating officer, or other high-octane connection looking for the big kill.

I’ve been considering blogging seriously for probably 6 months. Lots of reading and research later – the final push has come from Mitch Joel’s excellent book “Six Pixels of Separation”. I’ve said to my colleagues working on VizWho that once I’d finished his book – I would finally get cracking on the blog I’ve been going on about! And I have….

The book is in no way specifically about Personal Networking – it’s much more about your on-line presence being a major part of how people judge you. However, in the final chapter – an inspirational “miracle” for me. The very last section is called “Pushing Out on to the Horizons” – in which he describes “the ten emerging trends in a Six Pixels of Separation World”. In at number 4 is “Levels of Connection” (reproduced with kind permission of Mitch).

“Not all “friends” are created equal. Somewhere, someone (hopefully skilled in both the art of computer programming and in how networks are formed) is beginning to unravel what would be considered strong links that individuals have versus very weak ones.

Because many people are focussed on “how many” friends they have instead of the quality of links, understanding whom to trust (and who trusts them) is very complicated.

One thing that I believe has been a strength during my life is the ability that when I want to steer a new course or check out new ideas is to ask the people I know who they know.   With my Personal Network’s help I have managed to get so some amazing places – and develop interesting projects (both business and personal).

The other skill that I use when I am trying to develop a strategy for a new project (often away from my core knowledge and competence) is to devour information and learn as much as I can before getting to know people in a new area.

Well, here I am – in the area of Personal Networks – and I really know nobody who is knowledgeable or important!  Well, actually, there is one person – Mrs Moneypenny, the Financial Times extraordinary anonymous networker!  More on her later….

As mentioned, I do like to do my research before launching in to a project – so I’ve been avidly reading books, checking out blogs and diving in to the occasional bit of academic research (which does stretch my brain a little too far!).  The result is – that the first visualisation (or visualization if you are American) project has been to map out the “Personal Network Experts” that I have identified through books, blogs, the academic world, etc.  As of today, I know one person in this network (and a very tenuous link to another) – but it is my challenge over the coming months to make an intro and try to develop a relationship and build up trust so they can become part of my “Personal Network” Network (think I’ll start to abbreviate that to PNN!).

This first network diagram has been produced in a mind mapping software that I like to use for project to-do lists called Mind Meister.  I think it’s a fun way of giving me a “helicopter” view of things.

“Personal Network” Network – Mindmap on Mindmeister

Hello!  This blog is intended to track my journey trying to understand how Personal Networks work, their value to us as individuals (my hunch they might be our most important asset!) – and whether there is a way to make sense of them visually.

I’m not a serial networker – I have less than a hundred contacts on LinkedIn (as of today), my Facebook presence is really there to keep an eye on my children …. and I can think of nothing worse than attending a “networking” event.  However, I am an entrepreneur who is committed to business development – and to create new ideas I need people around me and information from all sorts of places.  The same applies when a strategy is developed – and it’s time to deliver.  I do believe that I have a good quality network of people who trust in me – and this diverse network has helped me to create and develop new ventures.

I’ve been fortunate to have built a business from scratch – and sold it at the peak of the market.  This means that for the last 4 years I’ve managed to take time out to think, play and get involved in small (but exciting) projects.

Anyway, I am working with two of my colleagues from the business we sold to develop our ideas around Personal Networks.  We have a fledgling idea, a registered domain name (VizWho) and some basic tools to start piloting.  If you visit this blog – I hope you will find some of the discussions and resources interesting … and hopefully you might come along for the journey (maybe even join my Personal Network!).

Phil O’Brien