I’m just coming to the end of my 2 month stay in New York City. It’s been a great place to explore the theory behind my startup business, Climbing Fish. I’m even more convinced that it’s quality connections and conversations that help people to do great things (and for some reason we have stopped doing both). We’re now planning a spring launch of the service in the Big Apple.

As I pack my bag, I’ve added to the weight by a few books collected. Prized is Seth Godin’s book (personally signed) “The Icarus Deception” – still not fully read! Others have been read – and others consumed via my friend’s excellent startup audio book service, Bardowl. This morning I had a long conversation with my Climbing Fish co-founder about the value of reading self-books. We are both cynical about how much benefit they give – especially compared to conversations – but we both, like flies to the light, get drawn in! Also, we discussed whether we give academic, well researched, structured writing too much time – and whether it freezes us into inaction. Discuss?

On my last night in Manhattan, I had a very swanky invitation to the Upper West Side to the home of Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz. Not my usual circle. My friend – Mrs Moneypenny (the Financial Times columnist) – was speaking to a group called “Sunday at Six”. The soiree is run by another Brit – Phyllis Roome – and is an invite only event dedicated to getting people together in real conversations (very Climbing Fish!).

Mrs M gave a great performance – in between drinks and a very nice supper. She was launching the paperback version of her book “Career Advice for Ambitious Women” (which is just out in the US). She’s not just a columnist – but makes her living as a headhunter … mixed with stand up performances in Edinburgh Fringe and off-Broadway. Very entertaining – and as you can see from the picture Joseph was very relaxed with her conversation.

I’d done my usual Google research on Joe. His resume is incredible. He is a Nobel laureate in economics, a professor at Columbia and a former chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers and chief economist for the World Bank, is the author of “The Price of Inequality.”. In the last week, he’d written an excellent piece for the New York Times – “Inequality Is Holding Back the Recovery” – that gave an overview of how he felt the US would only get economic recovery through dealing with inequality. In the article, he advised President Obama to focus on clearing up inequality – especially the shocking child poverty in the country.

I looked at some of the UN stats in this area – and the US record on child poverty is horrific. Joe’s article had over 700 comments. His argument was very strong. He was right, but what could I do?

As I left the party I had the chance to shake hands and chat briefly to Joe. I asked the question that had been fixed in my mind since reading the article. “When I walk out of here today – what can I – as an individual – do to reduce inequality?”. Joe looked a little stumped, then thoughtful and answered: “Two things – work at it through politics and as an employer make sure you pay people properly (including taxes).”

I was a bit disappointed – he might have seen it in my face. No time to discuss further. What had I expected? Maybe a “tie a yellow ribbon” moment – something that millions of people could do as individuals today (without reading more books, articles, political lobbying – or waiting for someone else).

It convinced me that we’re on the right track with individual action to solve solutions – by maybe less reading and more conversation…. leading to REAL action.

By the way – anyone out there with some suggestions on what each of us can do today to solve inequality? I am fairly certain that none of my readers are Nobel Laureates … but I bet you that between us “simple souls” we could could up with something? Suggestions please…

I am spending my time in New York trying to test “off-line” whether the principles behind our startup business, Climbing Fish, hold water. The key elements are seeing whether people “get” the concept, where the target audience hang out, whether there is an over saturation of connections in this age of social media – and whether getting back to good old conversations is as important as we think.

Last week, John (my Climbing Fish co-founder) forwarded me an article in Harvard Business Review by Anthony K Tjan called “It’s time for a ‘Slow Conversation’ Movement”. Please do take the time to read the article – as it hits at the core of what we are trying to do with Climbing Fish. Connections are cheap – but what’s happened to those valuable conversations. Anthony expresses it eloquently. Here’s one quote that gives a flavour:-

as we begin 2013, I can’t help feeling that the proliferation of new communication channels and “smart” devices has only further fragmented and strained the flow of real conversations. It has obscured content that is worth consuming. As multi-tasking has morphed into multi-casting — that is, it is now often less about trying to do more at the same time than trying to tell more at the same time — it has all increasingly gotten in the way of what we are trying to optimize, which is connectivity. In fact, it is quite clear that in many instances it has diluted the quality and relevance of our conversations.

I read through the comments – and was struck by one in particular from Sarah V. She said:-

I love this piece! As someone whose formative years have been greatly influenced by advancements in technology (born in ’85!), I sometimes find myself balking when it’s time for meaningful face-to-face conversation, despite knowing full well that it is important and effective.

It’s not that I don’t want to speak with my friends, colleagues, clients, etc. while looking them in the eye – frankly, even phone is difficult for me sometimes – but it’s that my generation has been conditioned otherwise. It’s so easy for me to socialize face-to-face when it’s all fluff and fun, but when it’s time to have a serious conversation – whether it’s personal or work-related – nerves kick in. Perhaps because it’s too real-time, too unpredictable, too uncontrolled.

I was intrigued that someone who was 27, obviously entrepreneurial, felt that a generation had been conditioned not to have conversations. I took time to follow the link to Sarah V – and discovered that she lived in New York. Now there’s a coincidence…. Maybe we could meet and I could ask more…

Sarah (V stands for Vaynerman) was – as she said in the comment – very good on Twitter and email. She agreed to meet at my co-working space at NYC Alley. What would the conversation be like….?

It was great. Sarah is young, lively – and a very focussed entrepreneur. She ditched her job on Wall Street to run her own venture – EsVeeGroup. She explained the conditioning…

When she was in 6th grade in the mid-90s, her mum (who was quite techy) showed her the Netscape Navigator browser. Sarah got hooked on surfing the internet. As time moved on a little, AOL suddenly became the think to join up to and her teenage years were spent communicating with her friends on AOL Instant Messenger. In late teens, the cellphone arrived – and texting each other was the thing. Now, Sarah says that she feels very comfortable with technology – and is used to the ability to use short form written communication to consider and compose a response to in her own time (usually very quickly). She feels in control in this way.

Sarah is concerned on the subject – especially how our brains become re-wired with technology. She pointed me to a New York Times article in 2010 – Attached to Technology and Paying the Price – that talks about technology giving you a “dopamine squirt”. Can a “Slow Conversation” compete with that?

Sarah and I had a great conversation – her brain has not been totally rewired! I shared the vision for Climbing Fish withher. At which point, Sarah’s face went blank… She then reached for her iPad (I thought, here goes … she HAS been re-wired). She’d not gone mad – she totally got what we are doing. She just wanted to share a set of notes she had made last year about a business idea… It sounded remarkably like Climbing Fish… Here are some of the gems:-

“Networking events are so tiring and like shooting fish in a barrel no one really likes it”

“Referral/invitation only? (100% at first)”

“If you do not participate you aren’t in. Can you be “voted off the island?””

“You only want to be talking to the people that have GENUINE interest in you, support for your success and what you’re doing”

“Not anyone can change the world but everyone can change THEIR world.”

She’d seemed to have been listening in to John and my conversations….

Even more spooky – when we exchanged business cards… SNAP. We both had Einstein Quotes on the back of our cards! Surreal…

We’ve agreed to keep our conversation going. It’s always interesting when you feel stars align.

I headed off for a bowl of soup at the local coffee shop (The Cafe Grind on 10th Avenue – thoroughly recommended). As I came out – I noticed their A-board. Einstein again … maybe he’s trying to send us a message about Climbing Fish!

I love the power of connection. Opening up to people and engaging in conversation just seems to spring connections and opportunities.

Last week, I went to a Meetup with the folks from Conversations New York. Two of the members were kind enough to invite me (and my co-founder of Climbing Fish, John Lynch) along to a couple of events in the city.

Michele Fulves invited us uptown to an early evening session of the Red Harlem Readers. The event is in the Indian Cafe, just below Harlem on the West side. It’s a lovely venue – enhanced by a glass box onto a New York street. There’s lots of interaction with passers by – and the taxi cabs race past. Stella Pulo did a reading from her book “Shrimp Shells in My Cleavage – Travel Tales from an Aussie Actress on the Run.” It was an engaging event – I like colourful storytellers .. and Stella is certainly that.

Last night, Elizabeth Cohn (also from the CNY Meetup) invited us over to Brooklyn to The Moth SLAM event. When we arrive there were queues up the block. Luckily Liz was on the VIP list with some pre-booked tickets – so we managed to dodge all the queues. The Moth concept is very popular – and a big hit on National Public Radio (NPR). People put themselves forward to be picked to get on stage and tell a tale. They each have 5 minutes to tell a real life story. Compere Peter Aguero was great fun – although he did pick on me a few times as I was on the front row snapping with my camera (quietly, no flash … but still he picked on me!). The Bell House is a great venue.

My favourite story of the night (but sadly not the winner) was by Adam Fawer. Adam explained that he had gradually gone blind when he was young (still retains some vision). Writing had been a release for him – and although he followed a “normal” career, he’d at one point taken a break to pursue his love of writing. His book was taken up by a major publisher, got great reviews – and combined his love of thrillers and maths by being based on the probabilty theory (book title “Improbable”). Sadly, book sales did not mirror the great reviews – although it did get translated and published in 18 countries. He created a second book – but it was only taken up in a Turkey, Germany and Japan (where sales had been reasonable). Adam had to go back to work in the real world….

He did start getting pestered by the Turkish book publisher to visit Turkey. He ignored this – as he needed to focus back on his career. The guy kept on pestering. Finally, Adam got a call from the US State Department saying that he should go to Turkey to help with their promotion of the USA. He looked up how his books performed in Turkey – and the two books were both in the Top Ten Best Sellers – ahead of the likes of JK Rowling and Stephen King!. He did the tour – and I’ve since seen the Youtube video to prove his popularity (there was a bigger queue than the whole of the audience at last night’s gig!).

As I now have a reputation for having pictures taken with famous authors (Seth Godin last week – Adam Fawer this week) – I got a snap with him at the bar after the event. He’s definitely a Climbing Fish candidate.

Finally – a big thank you to Liz for this invite. Inspiring Event… Liz has become a big fan of Climbing Fish – and shared with me a short story she has framed on her wall at home. It’s very Climbing Fish….

A Fable for Animals

Once upon a time the animals had a school. The curriculum consisted of running, climbing, flying and swimming, and all the animals took all the subjects.
The duck was good in swimming, better in fact than his instructor, and he made passing grades in flying, but he was practically hopeless in running. Because he was so low in this subject he was made to stay in after school and drop his swimming class in order to practice running. He kept this up until he was only average in swimming. But average is acceptable, so nobody worried except the duck.
The rabbit started out at the top of the class in running, but he had a nervous breakdown and had to drop out of school on account of so much makeup work in swimming.
The squirrel lead the climbing class, but his flying teacher made him start his flying lesson from the ground up instead from the top of the tree down. He developed charley horses from over-exertion at the takeoff and began getting C’s in climbing and D’s in running.
The practical prairie dogs apprenticed their offspring to a badger when the school authorities refused to add digging to the curriculum.
At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim fairly well, climb and fly a little was made valedictorian.

–Author Unknown.

P.S. On the Subway ride home from Brooklyn at 1am in the morning, couldn’t resist snapping these young people who had met on the train. The couple on the left were engaging in deep conversation with the young Swiss guy on the right. Conversation New York is alive everywhere in the city….

I’m enjoying using Meetup while in New York. There’s a constant flow of opportunities to find interesting people at events large and small in Manhattan. The alerts come through regularly during the day – and I am always surprised at the wide range of interests. I suppose that’s the beauty of living in a big city.

At the end of the week I was alerted to a group called “Conversations New York” via Meetup. While I’ve been in New York I’ve been researching what part conversations play in greasing the wheels of my start up business,Climbing Fish. I’ve been reading a book called “World Cafe – Shaping our Futures through Conversations that Matter”. The process outlined in the book is tried and tested on groups – and is an inspired way of getting conversations going. I’m working out how to apply this to the one-to-one connections that Climbing Fish intends to make. We’ve drafted in the thinking of the test group from Bath that tried out the Climbing Fish pilot this autumn – all who did our survey have been given a copy of the book.

I went along to the Conversations New York session at Penn Station (in a table at the back of TGI Fridays). It was a diverse group (as would be expected from the melting pot of New York) – all committed to getting the art of conversation going in New York. They have a lovely statement that outlines their aims:-

 

IMAGINE… 

Hundreds of New Yorkers coming together in small groups of neighbors

and fellow citizens to discuss topics of intensive interest…

Hosted at no cost and at convenient locations and times…

Aided by simple guiding principles…

Inspired by the city’s grand tradition of robust conversation…

Our vision is to inspire, organize, publicize, facilitate and celebrate

a renaissance of healthy dialogue in New York City

 

At that small table were people dedicated to Socratic Learning, getting fellowship for seniors in the population through conversation, diversifying the conversations of blind people from just always talking about fund raising, simply getting people to “Talk to me”, encouraging the immigrant population of the Upper West Side to start conversations again in the Hungarian Pastry Shops and generally stop technology separating us.

I’m hoping that in my time in New York to help the group with its aims. They are already excellent catalysts for the conversations of New York. On their site – there is a calendar of monthly events, and they track the activities of over 50 groups creating conversations in New York. If you are in New York – please take a look at the calendar and join the conversation!

As I said in my last post “I’d like to help you explore through conversations with strangers your undiscovered genius, maybe add fire to your “mild rage” or give you a whole new perspective. I believe this could change you, the people you meet and maybe the world for better – and help us all rediscover our art!” These guys are doing a great job at this.

The group is truly committed to open, diverse conversations. Ron Gross, the inspiring Chairman of the group, expressed it well: “We work hard at making sure conversations are open to all – we know how easy it is for birds of a feather to flock together. We need different perspectives.”

Watch this space for more words and pictures on the Conversations of New York…